Stripes
by Onigori1
Summary: I didn't like to look at myself for a reason.  One terrible, awful thing...
1. Meeting

**Kenzie: Wow. This…sucks. Hard. I suppose the most I can hope for is that it will get better as I keep going; hopefully I'll actually finish this one. For once. Anyway…So is the fanfiction I promised my friend for her birthday, and this year, I'm actually getting the character portrayals correct! Yay me~!**

**Okay, no more Smarties and Gatorade right before bed.**

**None of this belongs to me, except maybe the ideas that randomly hop around inside my head until I hit said head rapidly on my keyboard, somehow creating words.**

**Now, since it's after one and I have to wake up at six tomorrow, I'm going to sleep… **_**[snore]**_

Stripes

"That's it! Do you even care about how I feel?" I grabbed Near's chin and forced him to look at me. "You don't listen to me, you put me down, and you don't have feelings!"

He stared at me steadily, his cold eyes observing mine. "While I may not seem as though I have emotions, I do; they only get in the way," he replied. His voice sounded void of all emotion, just like his expression.

We stared at one another for a while, until the tension built up within me burst forth. "I hate you!" I screamed as I punched him in the face. I felt something crack under my fist, and blood began to drip out of his nose, staining the white of his pajamas. I wanted to beat him to a bloody pulp, to see his will collapse beneath my hands, but I couldn't.

No, I needed something worse. "I swear I will become the best. You will wish you had never been fucking born!" I felt the sting of oncoming tears, and I ran.

As I ran, I thanked God that I didn't have a roommate. If anyone saw me like this, I'd have to kill them, simply to uphold my reputation. I slammed the door to my room open, then stopped in my tracks. "Who. The hell. Are you?" I demanded, my voice low and deadly. The twerp standing beside my bed looked up.

"Matt," he stated. His blood-red hair fell across his eyes, which were covered with orange-tinted goggles. His clothing was all faded black and ill-fitting, riddled with holes where his joints lay.

"Why are you here?" He shrugged at my rage.

"This is my room." Somehow, his voice began to calm my anger. I couldn't for the life of me understand why, but I knew he spoke the truth. Sure enough, when I looked around the room, several items had appeared.

A bed had been added; a suitcase lay on top of it, clothes strewn all over. My television had been embellished with various game systems. A dresser stood next to mine, and a series of goggles was proudly displayed on top of it. My possessions were otherwise left untouched, except…

"What. The. Fuck," I growled. I turned my glare on him, my anger quickly returning.

"What?"

"Where the hell did you put my chocolate?"

"I thought it was left as a gift, so I ate it," he replied. Unlike most people, this "Matt" seemed unruffled by my anger.

"Obviously, no one bothered to explain the fact that _no one_ touches my goddamned chocolate. Just so you remember…" I threw a punch, aiming for his stomach, but he dodged it. I tried again, and he caught my fist. Another punch flew his direction, and other fist was caught. Finally, I attempted to kick him, but he blocked it.

"Why…the hell…can't I hit you?" I panted. Matt shrugged again, seemingly disinterested in my fury, and released my hands, folding his own hands behind his head.

"I took some martial arts back when my parents still loved me. After they left, I used it once in a while," Matt replied, entirely at ease with the atmosphere as the tension slowly left my body.

"Are they dead?"

"Not a clue. Like I said, they left after I got too expensive. They left me to live on the streets, but whatever." Matt flopped backwards onto his bed. "I don't miss 'em. No, I just wish I had been left out there instead of being taken in by certain people."

"Who?" By now, my anger had completely dissipated, and was replaced by curiosity.

"Ah," he sat up," now _that_ is a question I can't answer." He flashed me a grin, a show of emotion I had not yet seen from the redhead, and pushed his goggles up. His eyes were green as grass, and they searched mine. "By the way…"

I looked at him, startled out of the reverie his eyes had caused me. "What?"

"You never did tell me your name."

"I guess I didn't." I looked at him, meeting his gaze. "Mello."

"Ironic. I would've thought you would've picked something along the lines of 'Eternally Angry' or something."

"Fuck off. I picked that name because it reminded me of…" I paused, suddenly remembering I was talking to a near-stranger. "Never mind."

"What? What did it remind you of?"

I grinned at him slyly. "Now _that_ is a question I can't answer."

"Wait! That isn't fair!" he cried indignantly as I stretched and picked up my rosary before turning to the door.

"Life isn't fair. Anyway, I'm going to get more chocolate, seeing as you ate all of mine." My rosary felt comforting in my grip as I ran my thumb over each delicate bead, tracing the surface of my worn source of hope. "I'll see you in a bit," I said over my shoulder, clicking open the door. Truthfully, I had intended to speak with Roger about my current rooming arrangement, but I decided to just go with what I told Matt, adding a small detour beforehand.

As I walked across the gardens to the small mound of dirt, I thought about the day's events. "This could be the start of something interesting…" I mumbled to myself as I dug up the small box resting just below the surface of the ground.

**A/N: ZOMG I HAD NO IDEA I COULD SUCK THAT BADLY! Why didn't anyone tell me? **_**[sob]**_

**This is super short, I know. The next chapters should be longer, I promise. Right about now, we're looking at about 8-12 chapters.**

**I can only hope my editor can save my soul. **_**[goes to cry in emo corner. It is only suitable for terrible authors.]**_


	2. Memories and New Beginnings

**A/N: Hiya! This is the second chapter of Stripes, and for those of you who are brave enough to continue reading after the disaster that was the first chapter, I commend you. I have a couple things to say about this chapter.**

**First of all, the only character in this fanfiction I own is Jonah Keehl. You'll find out who he is in…three paragraphs. Not even. ANYWAY.**

**Second, Mello is fairly OOC for a while, and they get pretty friendly pretty early. That was completely an accident. Ahem.**

**Third, to make up for how short the first chapter was, this one is pretty damn long. Around six pages, single spaced, twelve pt. font. It took me forever, because I knew I didn't want to end it at four pages, but I ran into the biggest block. And I then made Mello philosophical. *Shot***

**Finally, I'd like to thank my amazing editors for all their help and encouragement. Sempai, thank you for not giving up on me! And Nii-sama, I hope you liked your present, and thank you for staying up until four in the morning with me editing six chapters in a row. You're the best!**

**And for anyone still reading this insanely long author's note (soon it'll be longer than the freaking chapter), I love you all and enjoy this new installment of this very odd fanfiction.**

Memories and New Beginnings

The box was shallow and dark grey, made of painted steel. In several places, the paint had chipped off, giving it the feeling of age; in reality, it was only three years old, as of today. I ran my hands across its surface, brushing off the dirt and grime that clung to it. I looked at it for a while, willing myself to open it.

After a few minutes, I reached into my back pocket and pulled out a small key that glinted in the sunlight. I fit the key into the lock and wrestled with the obstinate stickiness of the mechanism. After a moment, the lock clicked, and I lifted the lid to look within.

"Hello, Jonah," I whispered to the picture of the boy taped to the lid. It depicted a young boy, only six years old, holding a jump rope as he grinned at the camera. He had bright, energetic lavender eyes, twinkling up at whoever was taking the picture. His dark blonde hair was getting long; his bangs fell into his eyes. What terrified me was that this picture was taken on his birthday, September twenty-second, which was only one day before he died. The box was filled with trinkets of his: a little toy mouse, his lucky penny, and his favorite blanket, which was folded neatly around a framed picture of our mother.

"Happy birthday, bro. You're nine now…I wish you could meet my new roommate. He's the only person able to beat me in a fight, but only because I went easy on him! Big Brother can take anyone on, right? …Right?"

But I couldn't. If I could, I wouldn't be here now, my brother would still be alive, my mother would still be alive, and my life would be perfect. "I'm so sorry, Jonah," I said as I stroked the inside of the lid. "I tried, I really did! But… but… I failed you. I failed us both, and you paid for it." I sat in the grass, folding my legs beneath myself and addressed the box as though Jonah was contained within it.

"What is it like in heaven? Is it everything we used to dream about? Ice cream and chocolate and pets that never run away or die?" I asked, changing the subject. "I bet it is. I bet you have a blast up there, while I rot away in this hell hole." For the second time that day, I felt the hot pain of tears, but this time I let them fall.

"I'm so lonely, Jonah. I bet you aren't; you're with Mom and God, having a grand old time. Do you ever look down at me? What do you think when you see how far I've fallen? Are you disgusted by me? Is Mom? Is God?" I asked desperately.

"Of course they are. _'To be gay isn't natural.' 'It isn't normal.' 'It isn't right.'_" I allowed the tears to fall freely, knowing that no one would bother coming towards me, as I was hidden behind the bushes.

"Mello?" I whipped around to face the source of the voice emanating from behind me, angrily wiping the tears from my face as I slammed the box shut.

It was Matt, but his goggles were missing, so his green eyes gleamed brightly in the sunlight. He hadn't seen me yet, but he was definitely looking; his expression was tight, as though he was worried about something.

I scrubbed the last of my tears away, rising to my feet and calling his attention to me. "What?" I said, throwing him a glare that would have sent greater men to their knees.

"I was just wondering what was taking so long…Hey man, have you been crying?" He came towards me with his arms outstretched, as though to help, but I smacked them away.

"Just leave me the fuck alone." I turned and bent down to place the box back in its hole, patting the dirt down softly once I finished. I put my key in my pocket, and then faced Matt.

He was still looking at me with that sickening expression, the one that spoke of worry and something I couldn't place. "Get the hell outta my face," I growled, pushing past him as I began to make my way to the building. Despite my words, Matt continued to follow me around, going with me to the kitchen and shadowing me as I pulled out the large box of Hershey's that Roger kept for my convenience. I pulled out a stack of the bars and started towards my…_our_ room. Matt kept following me and watching me, even when we entered the bedroom.

His actions caused my anger to flare once again, and I whirled on him. "Can I fucking help you?" I demanded, more than slightly uncomfortable with his stalking me.

Matt shrugged. "Roger told me that you were supposed to show me around, so I thought it would be easiest to just follow you, rather than have to deal with actually asking you."

"If I give you a quick tour, will you leave me the hell alone?"

"I guess."

"Fine." I grabbed a few of the bars of chocolate and Matt's hand and led him out of the room. We turned left and walked down the hall, and I pointed things out as we went. "Other bedrooms," I said, nodding my head at the doors around us. "Roger's room. Bathroom. Kitchen. Dining room. Library. Computer room. Storage. Other bathroom." We walked around the entire house in this fashion, Matt holding my hand and staying silent the entire time.

When we reached the last room, I turned to look at him. "Got it?" I asked.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Good." I looked down and saw that we were still holding hands; to hide my burning face I dropped his hand and ripped open my third chocolate bar so I could break a chunk off and eat it.

Matt looked at his hand as though he was slightly sad I had let go; I quickly shoved the thought from my mind. There was no way the new kid had a crush on me, right? He looked completely straight to me… I violently shook my head and brushed past Matt to go towards our room. Of course, he followed. Again.

The first thing the boy did when we reached the bedroom was plop down on his bed and pull out a Game-boy, immediately beginning to tap away on the buttons. I walked over to my bed and fell onto it, pressing my face into the pillows. I had the distinct urge to scream into it like the girls do in the movies, but I resisted. Barely.

After a few minutes, I felt like someone was staring at me, so I looked up to see Matt glancing over at me every few seconds.

"What?" I asked, too tired to even be angry.

"I was just wondering if you were even alive anymore, that's all. Oh, and are you going to finish that chocolate?" He flashed me a grin, but all I wanted to do was sleep. And eat chocolate, but I always want to eat chocolate.

"Yes, I'm going to finish my chocolate. No, you can't have any. Yes, I will cut your fingers off if there is any missing. Yes, I will know if you take any. Now, I'm going to sleep. My chocolate had better be where I left it when I wake up, got it?" I growled.

"Yes, sir," He laughingly sent me a mock-salute, pulling a pair of goggles over his eyes and putting in a pair of earbuds before returning to his game.

Silence fell over the room, and I quickly fell into a fitful sleep.

"Mello, wake up. Hey man, wake up." I rolled over and glared at the boy hovering over my bed.

"What could you possibly want?" I mumbled into the pillow.

"Roger was just here, and he said that we're late to dinner, so if we want anything to eat, we have to go now."

"Fine…gimme a minute and we'll go." I sat up and stretched, arching my back like a cat. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and stood, motioning for Matt to follow me.

As we walked, I realized something: this was to be the first face-to-face meeting of myself and Near since I dumped him this morning. I stopped in my tracks, my eyes wide and my mouth open. "Oh, _shit_," I hissed.

Matt looked back. "What?" he asked.

"Nothing. I'm not going to dinner; tell Roger I'm not hungry."

Matt's eyes were questioning, but he didn't voice his confusion. "Okay, but… what's wrong?"

"I told you, I'm just not hungry. See ya." I turned on my heel and started off the direction from which we came, leaving Matt to stare after me. After turning the first corner, I broke into a sprint, rushing towards my bedroom; I was desperate to be out of the prying eyes of the old building and God.

As I rounded the final corner before I reached my room, I crashed into someone. I kept my balance, but the person fell, emitting a small yelp of pain on impact. I glanced down at the body on the floor; it was Near, rubbing his head where it hit the ground and grimacing up at me.

"Hello, bastard," I spat. This little freak here was the source of all of my trouble; or at least that's what I told myself.

"Hello, Mello. I think you're going the wrong way," he replied coolly. It was as if these past six months hadn't occurred; we were simply two boys who happened to live in the same orphanage for geniuses and were the top two academically in the entire place.

"Of course you would think that – you're an idiot. I'm not going to dinner; I'm going to my room. Now, if you'd kindly let me through…" I sidled around him and completed the trek to my room, slamming the door behind me.

Once safely inside, I sank onto my bed and pulled out a chocolate bar, nibbling at it while savoring the sweetness. _Three years and I still can't handle myself on his birthday. Figures, _I thought as I swirled the chocolate within my mouth.

I must have fallen asleep at some point before Matt returned, because the next thing I remembered, sunlight was streaming through the window as birds twittered idiotically, essentially waking me up in a bad mood.

When I rolled over, the first thing I saw was Matt's peacefully sleeping face. Lights played across it as his game continued without him, illuminating him with soft hues of green and blue.

A few seconds later, my alarm clock began to beep, signaling me that I should begin my day. I groaned as I stood, cracking my back as I walked to my dresser to pull out a new pair of jeans and a loose black sweater. After doing so, I trudged back to my clock, slamming my fist on the off button to stop that infernal beeping.

"Oi, wake up idiot," I spoke to the quietly snoring boy that was still lying on his bed. I walked into the hallway to go to the bathroom and made sure to slam the door behind me. The bathroom was only a few doors down, and when I got there, I locked the door so I could take my shower in peace.

After stripping down and stepping into the hot water, I thought about my life as I scrubbed away the last couple days' stress, letting it all run down the drain with the shampoo that I was rinsing out of my blonde locks. I mused about my new roommate and his seeming obsession with angering me, only to calm me once more, and then starting again. Something about the cycle bugged me, pushing me to think deeper, but I shoved the thoughts away. I sighed when I turned off the water, reluctant to leave the calming blast.

I yanked on my clothes and used one of the fluffy white towels to muss up my hair. I tossed my dirty clothes and towel into the hamper on the way out, and as I passed my room, I pounded on the door before walking in – I really didn't want to see a naked Matt when I walked in.

Of course, Matt was just rolling over as I pushed open the door. He pushed his goggles up, revealing deep grooves around his emerald eyes, and rubbed at them viciously. "Ouch," he mumbled. "I hate it when I forget to take these things off." He glanced at me and broke into a huge grin. "So, what're we doing today?" he inquired.

"_We're_ not doing anything. It's Monday, so we have classes today. Since you're new, you won't start classes until tomorrow. I suggest going to see that bastard, Roger, during lunch to get your schedule." I felt kind of bad snapping at him this way, but it wasn't _my _fault the idiot had the audacity to be so happy in the morning. I was anything but a morning person.

I slipped my shoes on and grabbed my book-bag from where it hung beside my bed. I held my hand up in a gesture of farewell as I stepped out into the hall and heard the click of a switch on Matt's Game-boy in place of an answer.

Waltzing into the room mere seconds before the bell, I took my seat as I always did. While I pulled out my trigonometry textbook, my partner took his seat beside me. "Good morning, Mello," he greeted me. I froze; I had completely forgotten who my partner was.

"Hello, bastard," I replied, refusing to face Near and instead opened my book up to the page marked on the board and began to work fiercely. I would not let him ruin my day; no, I would use his appearance to push me even harder to work.

**A/N: Okay, I was wrong about how long it was. Just over five pages. Shoot me! *Shot*  
>…I was being sarcastic. Anyway, I'll see you lovely people in two weeks!<strong>


	3. Game Systems and Theories of Evolution

**A/N: I'm so sorry this chapter is late! I was on vacation and I came back yesterday, and I still had to look at what my editor wrote because I didn't have a computer. Gomen! Please forgive me!**

**Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to the lovely Fase, who was my first reviewer. Thank you so much for your support and kind words!**

**Now, about the chapter itself. There aren't any spoilers, and the rating shouldn't have to be raised yet.**

**...Just ignore me. Roll chapter!**

Game Systems and Theories of Evolution

I threw my bag down on my bed and savagely tore into the chocolate bar Matt tossed me. "Thanks," I growled. The day had been terrible; I sat next to the freakish albino every single period, and he showed me up each class more than the last. By the end of the day, I had worked my ass off for next to nothing. The only acceptable thing that had happened was Matt taking Near's regular seat next to me at lunch, forcing Near to sit on the opposite side of the room.

"Long day?" the redhead inquired, pushing up his goggles. I glared at him, and he chuckled. "Hey, don't take it out on me."

"Shut your face," I snapped. This idiot had to be the only one who ever laughed when I glared at him. He grinned and pretended to zip his mouth shut, tossing the "key" over his shoulder. I rolled my eyes and he snapped his goggles back over his eyes and began tapping away on his Gameboy.

"By the way, I'm starting classes tomorrow," he said without looking away from the mini LCD screen.

"I thought I told you to shut it." He ignored me.

"Anyway, I'm in all your classes and I sit next to you in each one."

"How did you find that out already?" I inquired.

"The computers here are surprisingly easy to hack. It only took me a minute to crack it open and then it was smooth sailing. I didn't do anything that bad, just rearranged my schedule and switched Near with me in each class. No one'll notice anything." He sounded oddly tired about this, as though he didn't really want to do it.

"Um…okay?" I really didn't know what to say to this, so I just fished a book out from under my bed and buried my nose in it. I pretended not to hear the sigh from the other bed or see the furtive glance my direction, opting to feign interest in the printed words instead.

True to his word, Matt was in every one of my classes and sat next to me in each one. The day passed extremely quickly with him by my side, especially because he presented a challenge without being overpowering. I worked extremely hard, but I still beat Matt in each class, save for two: Trigonometry I and Computer Applications III. The redhead was disturbingly proficient in each of those classes.

That night, when I pulled out my textbooks and papers from my bag to begin my homework, I found that I was missing my English textbook. "Hey, Matt," I called over my shoulder, "have you seen my English textbook?"

There was no reply.

I looked around, sure that the redhead had followed me into the bedroom, but to no avail. The boy had made himself scarce. I walked into the hallway and called out his name, but again, there was no answer. I told myself that he was just in the bathroom and would be back soon, and went back to our room to work on the History homework.

Three hours later, I found myself on my bed tugging on my blonde tresses as I stared at a trig problem that had absolutely no solution. Just as I was debating whether it would be worth it to throw my last pencil out the window, a shadow obscured my view of the textbook. "The answer is the tangent of three," came a voice from behind me.

I whirled around, and sure enough, there was Matt, standing as though he had never left the room. "Two questions," I murmured, keeping my gaze low.

Matt grinned. "Shoot."

"First, how did you figure that out so fast, and second, _where the hell were you?_" I wasn't worried about him or anything, I was just wondering. As his roommate, I have a right to know where he is at all times.

"Well, anything with numbers comes easily to me. Trigonometry included. And second, I was taking a walk. Why, were you worried about me~?" I threw a punch aimed at his stomach, but he caught my wrist. "Relax, Mello, it was just a joke. I went for a stroll around the backyard, that's all." He released my wrist, and I rubbed the ring where he put pressure. I took a deep breath, and looked at him straight in the eye.

"Explain the problem."

"What's the magic word?"

"Fuck you."

"Close enough." The redhead leaned in and pointed to the problem on the page, explaining each number and their role in the problem. By the end of the night, I understood each question and how to do them.

"Now, was that so hard?" Matt asked. He was across the room on his own bed, a headset pulled on over one ear and a controller balanced easily on his knee as he reclined comfortably against his pillows. I flipped him off and he laughed.

"Hey idiot, let me see your English textbook."

"How come?"

"I left mine in the classroom," I said while I stood and crossed the room, extending my hand for it. Matt pointed to the end of his bed to where a pile of books sat. I sighed and stomped over to the pile and dug out his English book and flopped back on the bed.

"Page three hundred and fifty-two," Matt said without looking away from his game. I glanced his way, then turned back to the book and began the work. It was easy enough, just spotting discrepancies in writing, so I was free to think about other things while I worked. I thought about the events of the past two days, and decided that I wasn't upset about them at all.

That night, I lay in bed and watched the lights play over Matt's face as he raced through downtown LA in some game about cars. He paused the game and noticed me watching.

"Come here and watch; you'll get a crick in your neck from lying that way," he said. I waited a moment before doing as he said to keep up the pretense that I was just doing what I wanted, not taking his advice. Matt moved over a bit to make room for me and I sat beside him; I was intrigued with the game in moments.

I awoke the next morning to my own bed without knowing how I got there. In seconds, I realized what was wrong with the picture: my alarm clock wasn't ringing and Matt was nowhere to be found.

I jumped out of bed and whirled around to look for my clock; upon seeing it, I found that I was late for breakfast and barely had time to get ready for the day before classes started. "Fuck, fuck, fuck…" I mumbled as I pulled on the nearest pair of pants and sweater, then moving on to yank a comb through my nasty tangles. It usually wasn't that bad, but without time for a shower, my hair was impossible to deal with. Finished, I chanced a glance at the clock again; it told me I had five minutes before my first class of the day, Biology, began.

I took off running through the deserted halls of the orphanage, gliding into class milliseconds before the bell. The teacher, Mr. Kolar, nodded at my seat and began the lesson. I slid into my chair and glared at Matt as I pulled out my notebook. "What the hell?" I hissed to the redhead.

"What?"

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You looked like you could use the sleep!"

"I would rather be on time and hygienic than well-rested!"

"Well, I'm sorry for trying to be a good roommate!"

I opened my mouth to reply, but Kolar cut me off. "Matt! Mello! Something you'd like to share?"

"No sir," we replied in unison.

"Good. Mello, please explain Lamarck's theory of use and disuse using your own words."

I stood and cleared my throat. "Lamarck believed that if an organism did not use a trait, the trait would gradually grow smaller and smaller through generations and would eventually disappear." I sat back down and Matt slid me a granola bar with chocolate chips.

"For breakfast," he whispered. I discreetly nodded and took a small bite.

"Excellent. Matt, please explain Weismann's experiment and its significance in regards to the theory of acquired characteristics."

The redhead stood with his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the teacher. "He cut the tails off of mice and bred them for twenty generations. The filial generations of the mice still were born with tails, so the theory was disproved." He sat and swung his feet up onto the table to hide his hands, which were immediately occupied with a Game-boy.

"I couldn't have done better myself. Feet down and game away, please." Matt groaned and slowly pulled his feet off the table and slid his Game-boy back into his pocket. "Thank you. Now, there were other theories as well, such as the Darwinian theory of evolution by natural selection…"

That night after dinner, I found myself in our room again, finishing up the homework. Matt had already finished, but he only did the bare minimum of everything. For example, our History teacher had asked us to write at least one page about the life of Hitler; I wrote two and a half pages, while Matt put the period of his last sentence on the edge of the front of the first page. He did all the trigonometry in his head and only wrote down answers.

While I slaved over the work, he played away on Zelda. I heard the occasional victorious shout from the general direction of the gamer, and it piqued my interest. Once again, I got up and walked to the side of Matt's bed and climbed in, shoving him aside to make room for me.

"I'm bored," I announced to him. He chuckled and continued playing his game. "Oi, fucker, I'm bored. Entertain me."

"If you watch, I'm sure you'll be entertained in no time." I scowled and fell silent. The jerk was right.

**A/N: What's sad is in the biology section, all the things I'm spouting out about Lamarck and Weismann are true. And my high school Biology I teacher was Mr. Komar. *head-desk***

**Be on the lookout for the next chapter~! You should be pleased with what I have planned...and you might have murderous tendencies as well. ...Don't hurt me!**

**Review?**


	4. Abuse and Affection

**A/N: Okay, so I honestly haven't the slightest idea what to say. Other than to tell you all that I'm finally getting rid of my braces. Yay! Oh, I'm so excited~**

**Anyway... This is dedicated to my amazing roleplaying buddy, even if she doesn't read this fanfiction. I love you, Toni~**

**...Okay, I'm done. Roll chapter!**

Abuse and Affection

Hours turned into days which then turned into weeks, and I found myself falling into a pattern. Each day I would awaken to the absence of both Matt and my alarm clock's beeping, rush to class and berate the idiot for leaving me to sleep in, then he would slide me some sort of breakfast, then we would be fine for the rest of the day, then we would go back to our room and do homework, ending the day with me laying in bed with him and watching him play various video games on various systems.

Of course, there were the rare days that called for a mention, such as the day Roger took Matt out shopping for new clothing. That was the Saturday after Matt came to Wammy's. When he returned, he came with five dark wash pairs of jeans and five long-sleeved black-and-white-striped tee-shirts. He also came with a tan, fur-lined vest and a pair of black punk boots.

"Interesting choices," I commented when he emptied the bag onto his bed. He flashed me a grin over his shoulder and began pulling off his shirt. "Hey! What the fuck are you doing?" I yelled, averting my eyes.

"I'm just changing into my new clothes," the idiot replied. "If you don't want to see, you can just look away or deal with it!" He pulled one of the new shirts on and began to unbutton his pants; I shoved him out of my way and went into the hallway.

"When you're wearing pants I'll come back in," I told the closed door. I was answered with a laugh from the other side.

When the bastard let me back in, I punched him and he just laughed some more.

That night, I took a long, hot shower. As I was undressing, I cast a look in the mirror; it was the first time I had willingly looked at my body for any length of time since before I had been put in this orphanage.

I didn't like to look at myself for a simple reason. One terrible, awful thing: the scars that stretched across my back and chest disgusted me. Only three people had ever known about them: my dead mother, who had tended to the burns and wounds, myself, and the bastard that beat me night after night for two years, my father.

It started five years ago, when my father came home drunk and tried to hit my mother. Jonah was already in bed asleep, and my mother was in my room saying good night when the bastard stumbled in with bloodshot eyes and a beer can.

_ "You stupid _bitch_…it's…it's your fucking fault!" he growled, trying to reach her. On the second try, he slapped her full on the face; she cried out and fell back, holding her stinging cheek. He advanced on her again, raising his fist, and she cringed back. I could take no more of watching it._

_ I slid out from under my bed sheets as silently as I could and crept up behind my father. Gathering my courage, I slowly pulled back my foot, and then kicked him with all of my might in the back of his knee, screaming "Stop it!" He fell to the ground and dropped his can, then turned and shot me a look of pure fury._

_ "You little bastard, I'll show you who your talking to!" he spat, struggling to his feet. He lunged for me; I tried to jump out of the way, but I was too slow. My father threw me into a wall, held me there by my neck, and began punching me. I blacked out, and awoke to my mother softly crying broken tears as she patched up my wounds._

For the next two years, I was abused by my father in various ways, gaining scars from each new brand of torture. There were marks from when he held me down and poured hot oil onto my bare flesh; there were thick stripes from the countless times he whipped me with his widest leather belt.

I tore my eyes from the mirror and climbed into the soothing water. '_Damnit…it isn't fair…why __should Matt be allowed to _choose_ to wear stripes, and I have to bear them because of my fucking drunkard of a father?_' I thought bitterly as I scrubbed my chest; it was unevenly toned and textured from the scar tissue.

The rage inside me built until I couldn't take it. I whirled around and punched the wall as hard as I could. I didn't break any bones, but it still hurt. "Damnit…" I mumbled, cradling my injured hand as angry tears pricked the corners of my eyes. "It isn't fair…" I used my good hand to scrub them furiously, cursing myself for being so weak.

After a few deep breaths, I was calm enough to shut off the water and dress myself. I continued to take deep breaths and think about other things, and by the time I got back to our room, I was completely calm, cool, and collected. As I entered, Matt glanced up from his game and looked questioningly at my hand, which I was still holding, and I sat on my bed and told him it was nothing. After a moment, he shrugged and returned to his game, patting the bed for me to join him.

No questions were asked that night.

Another time that called for mention was my birthday, when I was awoken by the large weight of Matt on my midsection, begging me to open his present. I shoved him off and thrust my head under my pillow. Matt pulled off my blankets and I flicked him off.

Finally he succeeded in simply tugging me off of my bed and giving me the present. I glared at him as I ripped off the shiny silver paper and green bow, revealing a new leather belt; its buckle was a simple silver oval with a cross spanning from one side to the other and from the top to the bottom. I put it on and he grinned.

"Perfect fit!" he said, jumping up. I nodded. "What, no 'Thanks Matt, you're the best,' or 'I couldn't have asked for a better roommate,'?" he asked.

"No. I will say thanks, though."

"Woah. I think that's the first time you've ever said 'thanks' before…" I tried to punch him, but he dodged (as per usual). That was the first time I had ever said thanks to someone in Wammy's because no one had ever done something for me worth thanking.

In another twelve days it was Christmas. The day began with a stampede through the halls of the younger children because some smart kid had told the others that he heard Santa. Obviously, the day didn't get any better when I stepped outside and found that the entire orphanage had been decorated with every sort of Christmas-y piece of junk Roger could manage to fit. He had decorated while we were all asleep; how he did it, no one knew.

When we went downstairs, we found the common room filled with a giant evergreen tree, piles of presents resting brightly underneath. Several little kids dove around the pile, searching through the boxes and bags until they found something that was theirs. As I sat on the only empty couch, Matt walked over to one of the piles without children in it and rummaged around for a bit. He came back up with a small box covered in garish green and red wrapping paper and topped with a silver bow and a medium black bag with the picture of a four-pointed star on it. The redhead presented the bag to me.

"It has your name on the little card, so I figured it must be yours." He sat next to me on the couch and began unwrapping the box. When he got into it, his eyes lit up with happiness. "Awesome, Final Fantasy III! This was the only one I didn't already own…" He turned the box upside down, and a card fell out into his lap. He slit the envelope and pulled out the card, furrowing his brow as he looked at the writing on it. "Merry Christmas, you idiot. Mello," he read.

Before he could thank me, I said, "Just because I don't like to play video games and someone gave it to me last year." Matt didn't have to know that I hunted all over the internet for a copy I could afford. I turned to my gift and eyed it warily.

"Open it," the boy next to me insisted. I rolled my eyes and gingerly pulled off the tissue paper covering whatever was hidden within.

Inside laid a small box; on it was written "Merry Christmas" in elegantly flowing script. I lifted the box and opened it to find that it was filled with several types of chocolate. There was peppermint bark, dark chocolate truffles, peanut butter cups, and so much more. I felt a piece of paper attached to the bottom; I pulled it off and read it to myself. _Merry Christmas, roomie! ~ Matt _was what it said.

I lifted a piece of the peppermint bark to my lips and hesitated before taking a bite of it. The taste exploded in my mouth, and I finished off the piece in one more bite.

"I take it you like your present?" came the smug voice from beside me. I ignored it and continued to revel in the taste.

Suddenly a roar of noise rose from the opposite side of the room. Matt and I looked over; Linda had gotten cornered by her boyfriend under the mistletoe and he was kissing her senseless. I hissed through my teeth.

"Great. Now we'll have couples making out under the mistletoe at every opportunity."

"Why are you so upset about it?" inquired the boy beside me. I didn't know; I just knew that it bothered me, so I shook my head and walked off to our bedroom.

As I walked, I noticed more and more mistletoe hiding in corners of the building. _How much did he need to put up?_ I thought to myself. At this rate, couples would be sneaking off to each other's rooms before lunch.

I got to our room and sat down on my bed. _Why do I care, anyway?_ I wondered. I plucked a milk chocolate truffle from the box in my lap and popped it into my mouth and let it melt as I thought.

I was broken from my reverie by the entrance of a certain redheaded gamer. "Hey, Mello! Why'd you leave so suddenly?" he said.

"I didn't want to look at your ugly mug any longer than I had to," I replied with a slight snicker. Matt grinned and came close to me.

"You know what?" he said quietly. I didn't reply. "I like chocolate." With that, he grabbed my box of chocolates and retreated across the room. I lunged after him, but he moved out of the way. I chased him around the room, then I got an idea.

I dashed over to Matt's bed and stole Final Fantasy from atop it, then walked to the window and began to open it. "Hey, what're you doing?" asked Matt. I didn't reply, opting to open the window all the way and, with a shiver, thrust my arm out into the cold, dangling the game from my fingers. "Hey, put that down!" cried Matt. The cold quickly became too much for me, so I shut the window and moved to the door, twisting the doorknob as I stared at the redhead.

"Give me back my chocolate," I said simply. He didn't, so I flung open the door and took off down the hallway. I could tell he followed by the thundering footsteps following me across the carpeting. They were getting closer, and I turned just in time to see Matt flying through the air as he jumped at me. We collided and crashed to the ground, rolling around as we tussled; I was trying to keep the game away from Matt, and he was trying to reach it.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of green and red foliage; I grew still. Matt paused too and looked down at me. "What?" he asked.

"…Mistletoe," I whispered. Matt whirled around and stared at the ceiling. After a few seconds, he faced me again and pulled his goggles off; he placed his hands on either side of my head and leaned towards me slowly, so slowly, and then our lips met. My eyes fell shut and my hands slid up onto his shoulders, then around his neck, playing with the little bit of hair that rested there. He tasted sweet, almost like…

I broke from the kiss. "You ate my chocolate."

Matt laughed. "You're good. Here, have another taste." He pressed his lips to mine again. I flushed and pulled away, pushing him off of me. I dropped his game as I stood and began walking back to our room, leaving the redhead laying in the middle of the hall.

I found my chocolate lying safely on my bed, without a single piece unaccounted for. I looked around, bewildered by the development; I found a foil wrapper from a Hershey's Kiss crumpled up on Matt's bed. I shook my head again. _I will never understand him._

**A/N: I hope the lovin' helped to make up for the hatin'. I love you guys!**


	5. Beginnings and Mistakes

**A/N: Wow. This is...bad. I'm really sorry guys. I don't even have an excuse this time, except that I was at a con and just kinda forgot the day after. I'm a horrible person! Please forgive me! I'll hold off on the rest of the bad news until the second author's note...**

**Now, without further ado, chapter five!**

Beginnings and Mistakes

For three days, I studiously ignored Matt, focusing on any schoolwork we brought back to our room. He grew more and more agitated, until on the third day he exploded.

"Why are you ignoring me?" he shouted after finding that I had shoved the box of chocolates under my bed and refused to eat them or anything else he gave me. I didn't reply; instead I turned the page of the book I was reading and pretended to take in the words on the page.

"Mello, look at me." '_Ignore him._' "Please? I want to show you something." '_Don't look over…_' "Mello…" '_Ignore it._' The room grew silent; Matt had paused his game and wasn't saying anything. I glanced over out of the corner of my eye and saw him staring at me with a puzzled expression; I looked away quickly. I heard the shift and slight thump before I registered what they meant, but by the time I figured it out, it was too late.

The gamer had jumped across the room and pinned me to the bed effortlessly, helped by the fact that I did nothing to save myself. He leaned down, looking me straight in the eye. "Why are you ignoring me?" he demanded again. When I still did not answer and looked away, he grabbed my chin and turned my face towards his, swooping down on me for a kiss.

I froze up and clamped my lips shut, trying to resist his addicting taste, the magnetic friction of his lips moving against mine, but to no avail. I melted, my own lips beginning to move as a sensual dance ensued.

After what felt like an eternity spent in heaven, Matt pulled back. "Now will you answer me?" he

murmured breathlessly.

"Because if something is good for me, something will happen and it will crash and burn to the fucking ground. It happened with Jonah, with Near, and I didn't want it to happen with you. Is that okay with you?" I shouted at him. He sat back on his heels and looked at me in shock.

"I…I'm sorry, Mello. I didn't…I didn't know," he whispered. The gamer put his face in his hands. "God, I feel like such a fucking jerk now!" He climbed off of me and knelt down beside my bed, his stricken expression morphing into one of determination. "I swear I will not let this crash and burn. It's too important to me. You're too important."

I leaned in close to him and looked in his forest orbs. "You know, you're the first person to say something like that since my mother died. Since Jonah died." I cocked my head to the side and thought to myself, what if he's telling the truth? I feel like I can actually trust him… I pushed all thought aside and leaned even closer, murmuring "You swear, huh?" as Matt nodded slightly. "Prove it."

We kissed for the fourth time, the only time I had initiated it yet. This one was different from the others; while the last few were gentle and hesitant, this one was full of pent-up emotion, of anger and sadness, of hope and exaltation. Teeth clashed, tongues swirled; my hands landed on Matt's shoulders and his in my hair, tugging lightly.

I broke the kiss and pulled back to look at him. His eyes were soft and he combed his fingers through my hair, gently massaging my scalp; I pretended not to notice. We spoke no more that night, until we were lying in Matt's bed together as I watched him play Final Fantasy III.

"Hey, Mels?" he spoke quietly.

"Mels?" I asked, turning to look at him. "Since when am I 'Mels'?"

He chuckled. "Since now."

"Whatever you say." I laughed with him.

"Anyway, I have a question."

"I probably won't have an answer. I usually don't answer stupid questions." Matt elbowed me and I finally turned to look at him. "Fine, what?" I asked exasperatedly.

"Who's Jonah?"

Fuck.

**A/N: I'm digging myself a deeper and deeper hole, I swear... So, not only was this late and extremely short, but I'm taking a break. I start school tomorrow, so I'll be really busy with schoolwork. The next chapter will be up on September eighteenth (which just happens to be the day after my birthday). Bye~!**


	6. Pain and the New Year

**A/N: I'm so sorry. So very sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am! I think I'm going to pull back a bit on the publishing days. From now on, I'll publish a new chapter on the first of every month, starting in November. During summer months, I might speed it up, but no promises.**

**This chapter is dedicated to my lovely ****Merci Monsieur****. You've been a wonderful help, my dear, and an even bigger inspiration. Please continue to read!**

**Well, since I've made you wait this long, I might as well let you read. Enjoy, my dearies!**

Pain and the New Year

I was immediately transported to the world of happiness I once knew. My mother knelt among a field of flowers and Jonah and I danced around her, singing and laughing. We were a happy family, despite the hardships we had been through.

A shadow fell over us and my mother stood and pushed Jonah and me behind her to hide us from whatever horror stood before her. I peeked my head around her to see my father holding a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a knife in the other. While I watched in terror, he took a swig from the bottle and then swiped at my mother with the knife. I stepped in front of her and threw myself at the man, my father, in a desperate attempt to protect her, but he simply pushed me aside and stabbed through the air, landing the knife in my mother's chest.

She fell to the ground and exposed Jonah, who was crying hysterically and begging our father to stop, but he was kicked in the ribs and began to cough. Jonah fell to the ground. He covered his mouth with his hand, and I could see the blood dripping from behind it. He looked up at me and tried to cry out; a wet noise came instead and he was still.

I was sobbing, punching, kicking, swearing, but to no avail. My father grinned at me and threw the bottle in my direction. "What's wrong, Mihael? Too weak to save them?" he drawled. He laughed and started toward me, intending to kill me next. I grabbed the knife that was still buried in my mother's chest and swung wildly, blindly. He continued to laugh as he came closer, but the laughter cut off suddenly when one of my swipes cut him across the throat. "You little…" he struggled to say as he clutched his neck, blood spurting down onto his shirt and onto the flowers; within moments, he had fallen to the ground and died.

The knife fell from my grip as I joined my once-family among the flowers, curling in on myself as I drew in great, whooping breaths. I buried my face in my hands, peeking between through my fingers at the death and despair.

Jonah's body twitched and I gasped. "Jonah…?" I whispered, too scared to say anything else. A low, guttural groan answered me, and Jonah pushed himself off the ground and began to crawl toward me. Its eyes were empty, pale as the pallor of death painted upon his skin.

"Mihael…" it wheezed, "you failed us." He lunged at me and I screamed. My parents' bodies had begun to move again as well; they crawled at me whispering my name over and over, like terrible broken records.

"_Mihael__…_"

"_Mihael__…_"

"_Mello__…_"

"Mello…"

"Mello!" I jerked out the nightmare at the sound of a familiar voice; Matt was calling me from the real world, shaking me, terror beginning to creep into his voice. "Mello, please, just wake up! Whatever it is, it isn't real!"

I realized I had been screaming, my throat was raw. I closed my mouth and breathed deeply, squeezing my eyes shut and shivering slightly.

After a moment I opened my eyes slightly and saw Matt's worried face before mine. "I'm so sorry!" he said, combing his fingers soothingly through my hair. "I didn't realize…I didn't know…" He began to mumble. "God, I'm such a dick!" he shouted at the ceiling.

"I'm…I'm sorry," I said quietly. "Jonah was my brother. I don't think I'm ready to tell you the rest right now." I began to climb out of his bed to go back to mine, but Matt caught my wrist and pulled me down beside him.

"Just stay with me tonight, okay? We don't have to do anything, just…I want to sleep next to you."

"Fine, but don't get any ideas, fucker," I said tiredly. "And if you tell anyone, I will cut your balls off and feed them to you." Matt laughed.

"Whatever you say, Mels." He leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead, and I pulled him in for a real kiss. He proceeded down to my neck, gently suckling the tender skin, and I pushed him away.

"What part of 'Don't get any ideas' don't you understand?" I snapped, blushing lightly. The redhead chuckled.

"Fine, fine…" He wrapped his hands around my waist and pulled me close, then whispered, "I think I love you," as his eyes fluttered shut and his breathing evened out and deepened.

I watched until I was sure he was asleep, then murmured, "I know I do."

When I awoke, it was to Matt's soft smile. "Good morning, sunshine," he said.

I ignored him and sat up, stretching my arms far above my head and yawning. "How do you manage to wake up before me every goddamn day?" I inquired. Matt shrugged.

"You sleep right through my alarm every morning," he replied. I scowled, trying to remember where exactly he had an alarm in the room. He noticed me looking and pulled out his watch. "I have it set for seven during the holidays," he said. The gamer pushed a few buttons in quick succession and pulled up a small alarm icon to show me how it worked.

"What time is it now?"

"Seven forty-five," he replied calmly.

"Shit. We missed breakfast, I hope you realize that."

"I know. You're just too cute when you sleep!" His idiotic face was lit up in a smile as he spoke. For the first time ever, I landed a punch on Matt. He pouted and gripped his shoulder where I hit him. "I won't take that back. Just because you aren't cute when you're awake doesn't negate the fact that you are when you sleep." I growled at him and he chuckled even as he winced, still holding his shoulder. "You know, you really are strong. Too bad you aren't a bit faster."

"I _will_ hit you again."

"You wouldn't." I pulled my fist back and readied myself, and Matt held up his hands. "Fine, you win! I'm sorry." I put my arm down.

"Well, since we already missed breakfast, I suppose we should eat some sort of food…Fuck, we're not allowed in the kitchens." I turned to face the boy still in the bed. "What do you suggest, you fucking idiot?"

"There's always chocolate."

"For me. What about you?"

"I could have chocolate too."

"Fuck off. Besides, there's only one bar left," I growled.

"We could share."

"I'm not sharing with you. It's my chocolate, and it's too precious to share with the likes of you."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You aren't getting any chocolate."

"I guess that means I'll just have to have _you_for breakfast." While I rolled my eyes and began to turn to go to my bed to fish out the chocolate, Matt slid out of his bed and slithered his arms around my waist, latching his lips onto my neck.

"A-ah!" I pushed him with weak arms. "Let g-go, you fucker!" He simply chuckled and kissed the hollow behind my ears, and I whipped around in his arms and pulled him in for a harsh kiss.

When I pulled away, Matt was grinning like the fool he is. "Dick," I mumbled as I pushed out of his grip.

"That just makes me sexier," he said. I flipped him off as I gathered clean clothes. As I walked to the door on my way to the restroom, I turned to face him.

"I swear to God, if you fucking follow me to the goddamn bathroom, I will take pleasure in killing you in the most painful way possible. I don't care if I am dating you, you better stay _out_." I slammed the door behind me before practically running to the bathroom. Once safely alone in the tiled room, I allowed myself to fall to the ground and smile. I buried my face in my hands and just smiled. I allowed myself to feel truly happy for the first time in months.

Afterwards, I took a quick shower. The soothing water smoothed out the anxieties that had built up within me over the past few days; the scent of my shampoo reminded me of happier times. I wondered for a moment if the feelings of love I was feeling were simply fabricated by my own mind to make up for what I felt while I was with Near, but I quickly dispelled that thought. These were real; I just couldn't tell anyone else.

By the time I stepped from behind the curtain, I felt completely refreshed. I dried and dressed quickly, tossed my dirty clothes and towel in the hamper by the door, and then went back to my room. There, I dug around the things on top of my dresser until I found a comb and proceeded to yank it through my rat's nest of hair.

Matt came up behind me and grabbed my wrist in mid-pull, plucking the comb from my fingers. "You're going to hurt yourself," he told me matter-of-factly. "Let me do it."

"I'm a big boy. I can handle a little pain," I snapped, trying to get my comb back, but he simply held it out of my reach.

"I don't care if you can handle it; I'm going to do it for you. You see, if you don't let me, I'm going to break this comb, and you can walk around with sex hair until you get a new one."

"I do not have fucking _sex__hair_."

"Says the one blushing."

"_I__am__not__blushing__!_" Indeed, a faint flush (not blush, _flush_!) had graced my features. Heat spread through my cheeks as Matt laughed.

"Fine, but I'm still going to comb your hair. Sit." He gestured to his bed.

"Never."

"Sit."

"No."

"Sit." His voice was firm.

"I'm not going to sit, goddamn it!"

"Fine, your choice." I didn't understand until he lifted me up and carried me to his bed. He set me down and straddled me while I writhed to get out. "I'll only let go if you let me comb your hair."

"Make me." He grinned his crooked, mischievous grin and leaned in close.

"I have my methods," he whispered before pressing his lips to mine. He pulled back. "Even if you didn't have sex hair now, which you do, you would by the time I finished with you. And I would still break your comb."

"Fuck you."

"Well, I would, but I think we're a bit young, hm? How about we wait a while? I am open to more kissing, though. Yeah, kissing and combing your hair sounds nice right about now. What do you say?"

"I hate you."

"I love you more." He grinned and kissed me again. "Now, sit up like a good boy, or I'll have to break your comb."

"No." He leaned back, still straddling me, and began to bend my comb.

"Care to change your answer yet?"

"No." He put a bit more pressure on it, and I finally sighed. "Fine, I'll sit up and let you comb my hair. You better not tell anyone, though. I have a fucking reputation, got it?"

"Whatever you say, Mels." He scooted back and allowed me to sit up, then began to gently work the kinks from my hair, beginning at the bottom and working his way up. The gamer worked in silence, focusing completely on my hair and allowing me to study his face. As he finished sections, he asked me to turn my head, so I began to focus on how our room had changed since he had arrived.

When he first got to Wammy's, Matt's and my things had stayed separated, almost as though there was an invisible line drawn down the center of the room. I didn't touch his stuff, and mine was left alone. The only time that changed was when we actually invited the other over.

As time progressed, however, our possessions began to merge, and the line disappeared. We took the liberty of borrowing each others' things, with the exception of specific items (such as my chocolate and his games, not to mention underclothes).

One thing in particular caught my eye. "Hey, Matt," I said.

"Hm?"

"Why don't you wear your goggles any more?"

"I wear them when I play games."

"Yeah, but you used to always wear them, except when you slept or bathed. Now you only wear them when you play games."

"Well, I guess because if I wear goggles, I can't see things very well unless they're on a television or LCD screen."

"So?"

"So, I can't see you."

"…I can't tell if you're serious or just trying to be romantic," I mumbled. Matt chuckled.

"Both. In all honesty, back before I came here, I was always on the computer. I needed the goggles, or the harsh lights would have caused me to go blind. Here, I have a choice of when I go on."

"Your point?"

"Back then, I had to be on. Now, I only wear the goggles when I'm on the games. I always wore them when I first came here simply because it was habit. I'm still getting used to normal life." I turned my head to face him, and yanked the comb out of his hand with my hair on accident.

"What do you mean by 'normal life'? What kind of life did you have before you came here?" He smiled sadly and shook his head.

"That isn't something I think I can tell you. All in due time, I suppose." I glared at him, and he simply stared back at me until I turned back around and allowed him to finish my hair.

The next couple days were completely uneventful, other than the annual homework rush that occurred before holiday recess was over every year. We went back to classes on January second each year, unless that day was on a weekend, in which event we went back the next Monday.

On New Year's Eve, Roger held a party in the common room. There was a small buffet filled with all sorts of sweets, punch, and a net filled with balloons strung up on the ceiling. He told us that at midnight he would pull a rope and the balloons would fall on us, and that we were free to pop them, as long as we picked up the pieces afterwards.

Matt and I spent the evening off to the side of the room, drinking punch and eating chocolates. For a while, we simply went back to our room and I watched him play Final Fantasy III. The gamer insisted that we stay in our room for the stroke of midnight, and seeing as there wasn't really anything that I wanted to do in the common room anyway, I agreed.

As midnight neared, the kids at the party gradually got louder, until during the final ten seconds they were screaming out the numbers as they counted down. The noise was dulled through the walls of our room, but we could still count with them.

"Ten!" shouted the kids. Matt paused his game and looked at me.

"Nine!" The redhead joined in with them, murmuring the numbers.

"Eight!" I looked back at him, confused as to why he stopped. It was just a new year, nothing really super special or anything.

"Seven!" Matt began to get closer to me.

"Six!" I unconsciously leaned in towards him.

"Five!" Our faces were mere inches apart.

"Four!" I put my hands on his shoulders.

"Three!" He gently pushed me down on the bed and I joined in with the counting.

"Two!" Our breath was mingling as Matt rested his weight just above me.

"One!" Our lips joined in a chaste kiss, broken when the boy on top of me pulled back for a second.

"Happy New Year, Mels," he whispered before kissing me again.

We fell asleep that night wrapped in each other's arms, blissfully dreaming about what the next year would bring.

**A/N: I don't really have much to say after this one, other than I hope I didn't give you cavities from the fluff. I hope you enjoyed it!**


	7. Coupons and Dances

**A/N: Woah. It's an update...and it's on time; early even! IT'S A MIRACLE!**

**...Okay, no more revising on three hours of sleep, Kara. Bad idea. Very bad idea.**

**Anyway... welcome to the seventh installment in this fanfiction! I'd like to thank you for sticking with me for so long. I also want you to be aware that this is the longest piece I've ever written; just over thirty-five pages to date. That is including the un-edited chapters eight and nine, though.**

**I want to dedicate this chapter to my friend Ashley. We met on tumblr, and became fast friends. Even if she doesn't read this, I want to say thank you for helping me with my writers' block, and allowing me to vent at you whenever I had a bad day.**

**Without further ado, chapter seven!**

Coupons and Dances

Fast forward exactly one month. It's now Matt's birthday, and I, of course, had forgotten all about him. I'm a wonderful boyfriend, dammit! I just had no idea what to get him, so I put it out of my head. Besides, he got enough from me at Christmas.

Go figure, the bastard woke up early and woke me up with him, demanding a kiss. I obliged, then pushed him off of me, mumbling about a shower, and "don't you ever bathe?"

He laughed and said, "Yes, but I take my showers at night when you're asleep." Which would explain how I sometimes got back to my own bed. I shook my head and walked out the door; I got halfway to the bathroom before I realized I had forgotten to grab clothes.

"Fuck it all," I said to myself as I turned and headed back towards my room. When I opened the door, Matt stood in just his jeans; a striped shirt lay on his bed, slightly wrinkled and waiting for him to put it on. "Oi!" I shouted, averting my eyes.

"What, never heard of knocking?" the shirtless boy laughed. I growled as I stormed to my dresser and pulled out some clothes for the day. "Hey, not even a glance? Come on, I know you like it!" he called. I ignored him and left again, slamming the door as I went.

In the shower, I thought about what I could possibly give Matt for his birthday that I wouldn't have to spend money on and that I could find or make quickly enough. But it needed to be good, because I didn't want him to think that I forgot. Chocolate? No, Roger only bought one box this time; there were only eight or nine bars for the whole week. A game? No, I didn't have any laying around. What else did he like? I wracked my brain as I rinsed the shampoo out of my hair.

Finally, as I was twisting the knob to cut off the flow of hot water, I figured it out. It was a fairly stupid and extremely childish idea, but I figured he could deal with it.

For the rest of the day, Matt bothered me, asking what his gift was, where it was, _"Can I at least have a hint?"_, and so forth. I either ignored him or turned him down on each occasion; eventually I turned on him and told him there was no present. He pouted until I eased up and told him he would get it after dinner.

The problem was, I couldn't find a time to work on it. If I could get even five minutes, I could finish it easily. Hour after hour rolled by, and I began to get agitated. By six o' clock, when dinner was scheduled, I had become so agitated I was jumpy and prone to shouting even more than normal. (I cussed out Linda for absolutely no reason other than she was sitting too close to me at the table.)

I ate ravenously and excused myself no more than five minutes after I had sat down; I raced back to our bedroom to make the present. I began by making his card, which I simply wrote a short note on, ending with "Happy Birthday, Bastard". I then set about making his actual present.

Ten minutes later, the gift was finished, the card was placed on Matt's pillow, and I was searching for a suitable hiding place when the door cracked open and the gamer's red-haired head peeked in. "Mello?" he said questioningly. I whipped the gift, a small slip of paper, behind my back and faced him.

"What?" I replied, attempting to slide the paper into my waistband without being noticed.

"Why'd you leave dinner so early?"

"I was hungry, so I finished fast. I didn't have any other reason to stay, so I left."

"Then why are you hiding your hands behind your back and why is your shirt riding up?" Dammit. He noticed.

"I was…itching my back." The paper was successfully slipped securely in my waistband, so I brought my hands back in front of me. He still looked suspicious, but he shrugged and looked around the room, seeing the card on his pillow for the first time. The boy glanced at me, and I pointed at it silently; he turned back to the innocent little folded sheet of paper and picked it up.

"Just because you're thirteen now doesn't mean I'll suddenly be nice. Happy birthday, bastard," he read aloud. Matt looked up. "Not a very loving card," he said, pretending to be upset.

"Shut up, idiot. Close your eyes so I can give you your real gift."

"But you obviously put so much work into this piece of paper, I don't know if I can accept any more!" He grinned and put down his card.

"Just do it." He closed his eyes and held out his hands expectantly; I slipped the piece of paper from my pants and carefully placed it in his outstretched palms, then leaned against him and put my lips against his. Matt responded enthusiastically. I broke the kiss a few seconds later and retreated across the room before he could open his eyes.

When he did, he kept grinning like he had been before I kissed him until I scowled and told him to look at the paper in his hands. "What's this? 'Good for one day of whatever you want.' …I don't quite understand," he said with a playful look in his eyes. "Will you…" he sauntered closer, "explain it to me?" He stopped right in front of me, tilting my chin up to look in his eyes.

"You do too fucking understand. Stop fucking around," I snapped, blushing fiercely. I smacked his hand away and he pretended to be hurt.

"I really don't, though…please, Mello? I mean, unless…you don't love me at all…" he pouted. The playful glint remained throughout the entire time, but I still couldn't resist answering.

"Gah! Fine! It means…it means…" I flustered.

"Yes…?"

"Thatimyourservantfortheday," I mumbled.

"What? I didn't quite catch that," Matt laughed, holding a hand up to his ear.

"You did too, you fucker!"

"Nope, I didn't. You'll just have to say it again, this time a bit slower and louder."

"Never."

"Come on, please?" I didn't deem him worthy of a reply; instead, I turned on my heel and headed towards the door, only to be stopped by Matt grabbing my wrist. "Fine, I'm sorry. Thank you for the wonderful present, Mels." He pulled me back and hugged me, planting a light kiss on my cheek.

I pushed him off. "Yeah, whatever. I swear to God, if someone else finds out, I will personally cut off your tongue and shove it up your ass."

"Point taken." The redhead placed the paper in the top drawer of his dresser and then turned to face me again. "You know, you've been awfully mean to me today," he began. Alerts began to sound in my mind; Matt was up to something. "I think I deserve to be treated nicer on my birthday, at least for an hour," he continued. The alarms were joined by bells and sirens; whatever he was up to was definitely going to end badly.

He sauntered over to me and whispered, "I think we should start now." He hooked his fingers through the belt loops of my jeans and pulled me closer. Matt kissed my earlobe before murmuring, "Now, do you have something to say to me?" and moving to the crook of my neck.

"N-no, you bastard. Mmm…Let g-go…" I struggled to speak, and even as I told him to release me, I hoped he wouldn't. His breathy chuckle further agitated me.

"Really? I thought you might like to wish me a happy birthday. Silly me… I guess that means you don't want a kiss either, right?" he replied mischievously, giving my neck one last lick before stepping back. I nearly whimpered. Nearly.

"F-fucker…Fine, happy fucking birthday!" Matt grinned like the idiot he is.

"Now was that so hard?" he asked playfully. I growled and pulled him towards me by the front of his shirt, engaging his lips in a ravenous kiss that Matt quickly took control of. He pushed me back, gently, until the backs of my legs touched the edge of his bed, at which point he disconnected himself from me and pushed me all the way down until I was lying on the bed and he was on top of me.

He rested his weight on his elbows, hovering above me and looking into my eyes. "I…I love you, Mello," he whispered, kissing me again.

"I…love…you…too…you idiot…" I breathed between kisses.

You might think that we went all the way that night, but then you would be wrong. We were content to kiss until we were too exhausted to continue, and then simply lay together, me wrapped in Matt's arms, until we drifted off to sleep.

"…ello. Mello, wake up," were the first words I heard the next morning, accompanied by someone shaking my shoulders.

"Nnn…Just five more minutes…" I mumbled, nuzzling into the soft blankets and pulling a pillow over my head. Despite my efforts, I could still hear Matt chuckling at my behavior. I grumbled under my breath and felt the pillow being pulled from my grasp.

I tried tugging the sheets over my head, and Matt pulled them back off, flinging them across the room and onto my bed. I threw my arm across my eyes to block out the light, and Matt laughed out loud. There was a moment of suspicious silence, and a weight pressed down on the bed; my lips were enveloped in warmth at nearly the same instance.

Almost as soon as it was there, the warmth was gone. I leaned up into Matt's waiting arms and kissed him again, but he pulled away just as quickly. I frowned and leaned up again. Once more, the bastard pulled back after a kiss that could hardly be called such.

Just like that, the arms holding me up were gone, and I fell back onto the bed. I opened one eye to glare lazily at the redhead who had retreated across the room and was now rummaging through our pile of possessions that sat atop the connected tops of our dressers. Seeing as he wasn't paying any attention, I closed my eye and attempted to fall back asleep.

A second later, Matt's voice floated to me. "Mello…" he said. "You only have one bar of chocolate left for the day, right? You wouldn't want anything to happen to it…" The familiar sound of paper and foil being ripped harmoniously rang out. I leapt across the room at the offender as he took the first bite.

"You – mmph!" I tried to shout at him, but he silenced me with a kiss. He pulled back just enough to whisper to me.

"I thought that would get you up. Here, let's share…" With that, he closed the gap again and kissed me hungrily; he nipped my bottom lip and I granted him and the chocolate, entrance. The gamer's hands found the small of my back and pulled me closer, and I rested my hands lightly on his chest.

We kissed in that manner until the chocolate had completely melted. I pulled back, breathing heavily and opening eyes that had somehow slid shut during the kiss. Matt opened his moments afterward and pressed his forehead to mine.

"I love you," he said, kissing the tip of my nose.

"Fucking bastard…"I mumbled, turning away. The redhead laughed and opened a drawer.

"I could use this anytime, you know," he called softly. I didn't even have to look to know he was talking about the coupon.

"Oh, shut up," I hissed, walking to the door. "Come on, idiot. We're going to be late for breakfast."

The next several months passed in a similarly lighthearted manner, with plenty of joking and tomfoolery to go around. Valentine's Day was fairly uneventful, with the only matter worth a mention being Matt presenting me with chocolate and me throwing it away, claiming that I'm not some girl. (Later, though, I dug it out of our trashcan and snuck it into my top drawer.)

One peculiar thing about Wammy's House is the Summer Solstice Soirée. It took place on June 21st at seven P.M. every year; that didn't matter anyway, because I never attended. I usually stayed in my room, either alone or (this past year) with that idiot Near. Of course, when Matt found out about the dance, he decided we should go together.

"No. I've never gone to those infernal dances, and I don't intend to begin now," I replied.

"Come on, please?" Matt begged, pushing up his goggles and gazing at me with what he probably considered a smoldering stare. I ignored him and continued to read the book I was holding. "Please~?" he whined. I sighed.

"I said no. You can go; there's nothing holding you back from going to the damned thing. I'm staying here."

"…Fine," he said. "I'll stay here, but you better not just sit and read all night like you did last time we didn't go to a get-together with the rest of the school."

"We had finals the next day, and it wasn't even a get-together. Some kids decided it would be fun to dance in the common room with the music all the fucking way up."

"You still could stand to loosen up."

"Whatever." I turned a page in my book and Matt returned to his game.

The next day was the day of the dance. True to his word, my roommate stayed behind in our room with me; also true to his word, he bugged me until I paid him even a little attention.

"Mello…"

"Mello…"

"Mello…"

"Mello…"

"Mello…"

"...What?"

"I'm bored."

"So what?"

"Well, you should do something with me."

"There's a dance right outside that door. Feel free to leave at any time."

"But I want to be with you."

"So don't go."

He sighed.

"Mello…"

"I swear to fucking God, if you say my name one more time, I'm going to cut out your voice-box and feed it to dogs."

"…Mello."

"That's it." I hoisted myself off of my bed and lunged across the room at Matt. I landed on him, and we fell back onto his bed, me on top of him.

"That's all I wanted," he said, grinning. Before I could get my hands around his throat, he grabbed them and held them in one of his. His other hand went to my cheek and held me there while his kissed me. I tried not to reciprocate anything, but his gentle lips melted my resolve until I finally gave in and kissed him back.

I broke the quickly, much to my boyfriend's dismay. "I really don't like you sometimes," I said, attempting to glare at him as I stood up and began to walk back to my bed.

From the dance in the other room, I heard the beginning of "Faithfully" by Journey. I paused and started to turn back to Matt just as his arms enveloped my waist and gently turned me around to face him.

"You know, this is my favorite Journey song," he told me. I raised an eyebrow, but didn't hinder him as he lifted my arms and put them around his neck, resting his own on my hips. "I will run into the midnight sun…" Matt mumbled. "Wheels go round and round, in my mind…"

"You are not fucking singing." He smirked and continued over me.

"Restless hearts… Sleep alone tonight… Sending all my love on the wire…" the gamer sang.

"They say that the road ain't no place to start a family… Right down the line it's been you and me…" He began to walk in a slow circle, taking me with him. "And loving a music man… Ain't what it's supposed to be… Oh girl, you stand by me… I'm forever yours… Faithfully."

I flushed, feeling the heat spread throughout my face and hating every second of it. Matt continued the song, singing along with every word and smiling slightly the entire time. His thumbs rubbed gently circles on my hips as we spun in a cliché manner, gazing into each other's eyes like lovesick fools.

As the song ended and melted into some other gooey love song, Matt kissed the tip of my nose and I pushed him off. "I only let you dance with me because I was tired of you fucking bothering me so much, so don't get any fucking ideas," I growled. There was no way I was going to tell him that I was entranced by his eyes, or that I would have liked to continue spinning like that with him for another couple songs at the least. My bed looked cold and empty compared to the arms that were attached to my boyfriend, and my book was the least likely distraction from boredom in the room.

For a moment, I stood in the center of the room, deciding where I should go; I picked Matt's bed. I sauntered over to his bed and sat down heavily, then picked up the remote to his PlayStation 2. "I think it's time you taught me how to play this thing," I told him, daring him with my eyes to make a joke about it.

He grinned as he followed me to his bed and grabbed the other controller, then punched the "On" button.

**A/N: Okay, well that was...completely different than I imagined when I planned it. Oh well. Happy Halloween, everyone! Eat plenty of candy from strangers, and think of me as you do so!**


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